i hate the world today, and all of the people in it. i hate that i'm so tired. i hate that i'm so uncertain. i hate that i'm so tired of being so uncertain.
i'll tell you what i need. i need a house, and a husband, and a fucking baby. i need a dog. i need a deck and a yard and some stupid chinese food that isn't all celery and carrots. i need to not feel so cheated.
i don't know which is worse... the not knowing or the not being. but sometimes i can't sit at that desk one more minute. i can't come back here to this unnatural little box with my salty, rotten take-out, hoping for some small sign of life in my otherwise flatline day. sometimes it could all disappear so easily, in a puff, and there'd be nothing left to lose.
i hate that i'm watching one tree hill. and i'm not even enjoying it. i can't even hear it over the ac. when did it become unpopular to enunciate? fuck you, chad michael murray.
