i don't sleep now, not even at the cape. i've become like a character in a book who says he never sleeps. you think, well no, no one could possibly not sleep so much, it must be more hyperbole, it must be dramatic effect. but the night comes and i'm afraid to close my eyes. i know my brain won't rest.
ask about prose, ask about dreams, ask about the surf. there is so much to talk about and we'll have so little time.
i'm reading a wonderful book and it's cloudy and i'm woozy with the night still with me. it's funny, i don't feel tired. two weeks of this now and the exhaustion hasn't come.
my heart for you swells like tides. sometimes high, sometimes low. sometimes very cold.
the sun was out once, for a moment, and we hardly knew what to do with it. we could hardly enjoy it enough. now with the gray the time moves more slowly, the time is thick with fog like soup. i need it this way. i need to slow down, to stop, to rest for a moment, to make my heart stop pounding.
we ate muffins for breakfast and they tasted like cake.
